Ten days ago, I ran my first marathon since the Boston Marathon in 2016 and I still smile when I think about the experience. Was it a PR or a well-executed race? Not really. What made it special is that I DID IT. It was difficult to step away and take some time off from racing and training, but I have no doubt that it was the right thing to do for both my physical and mental well-being.
In addition to its great cause (money goes to help military families), I chose the Run 4 Troops Marathon because it is just over the river from Wisconsin, which made it easy to check Iowa off my 50 States list. I have now completed 5 marathons in 4 states: Wisconsin, Minnesota (2), Massachusetts, and Iowa. The whole experience, including my training, was so different than other marathons I’ve done (perhaps with the exception of my first marathon). My training cycle was not outstanding, partially because I did not want to become too wrapped up in my goals and times as before, but also because my life just seemed more messy this time around.
Early on, I dealt with low energy due to a bout of anemia. Next, I slipped in my training for a couple weeks (missed a long run, took an extra rest day) when my mental health declined after a highly desirable job opportunity slipped through my fingers. Nonetheless, I continued to train and brought myself back to a healthier mindset. I have noticed throughout this journey of recovery from my eating disorder as well as my quest to redefine who I am as a runner, that I have not only had to learn things (more self-compassion, more living in the moment), but I have also had to unlearn things. I am unlearning my perfectionism and my all-or-nothing attitude. These two things have made it easier to appreciate the simple joy of running, without headphones and without fitness apps. But, I digress.
In addition to the training not going how I had hoped, my race day preparation was off due to my long break. I forgot my Nuun tabs for my water and had to buy some Liquid IV packets instead. This turned out to be fine, as I actually preferred the taste and the change did not upset my stomach, but it certainly did not calm my nerves or increase my focus. I also forgot to bring my oatmeal with raisins, walnuts, and cinnamon, and ended up buying Kodak Oatmeal instead. It was delicious and my tummy agreed with it.
It was time to get on the shuttle to the start and I ended up sitting by a spritely, friendly woman and we chatted for most of the way to the race. The majority of the conversation was pleasant, but then it started shading into some triggering topics for me, talking about a certain type of diet she was trying and how she thought it had really helped her so far and wondered how today would go. I did my best to try to let her know that I have no interest in diets, and she seemed to get the hint. It shook me a bit, but I knew that I was well-nourished and ready to race.
The race was on the beautiful Heritage Trail, which is a crushed limestone trail. This meant the course was mostly shaded and mostly flat. I definitely appreciated this fact, as the weather was quite warm by the end of the race. I was enjoying the race and not worrying much about my pace, even chatting with people as I ran. I met a nice fellow from Dubuque, whose name was Mike. Probably the most unique thing about the race was that more than 75% of the participants were doing the marathon relay rather than the individual race. I think there were less than 250 people doing the solo marathon.
Since it was a small race, this was nice because there was a pretty steady stream of people along the course. The downside, of course, was seeing people breeze by because they were only running about 6 miles. This fact did not bother me in the first half, but towards the end, I became a little irked by the people who would casually ask if they had “only” a mile or so to go. Not gonna lie, that’s not an easy thing to hear when you are nearly out of liquid and still have 9 or 10 miles to go. Speaking of hydration, that was the part of the race I was least prepared for and most out of practice with, despite trying to experiment and practice during my long runs.
I ran out of the electrolyte water in my CamelBak around mile 17. I had been taking water at some of the aid stations as well (not all, because some did not have people handing them out) and I had Clif Bloks for energy, but I had nothing else because I did not have issues with muscle cramps during my training. Well, this is because my longest training run was 20 miles. About three miles after I ran out of my hydration (mile 20), my left quad started cramping. It was manageable at first, but became increasingly worse. I had to walk probably 10 times during the last six miles (I purposely did not keep track and looked at my watch as little as possible), to massage my leg and walk it out. My second half was nearly twenty minutes slower than the first half.
And YET…I finished. I chose to keep going, despite the pain. I focused more on the scenery and on encouraging people around me. When I saw the finish line, a wave of emotion came over me. I started to cry tears of joy at this wonderful experience my body allowed me to have. My Mom said that when she saw me put my hand over my mouth, she wasn’t sure if she should take a picture because she thought I might throw up. Thankfully, she still captured the special moment (see below).
Shortly after I saw my Mom, my daughter came up to me and jogged beside me until I got to the finish chute. She heard me sniffling and said, “It’s okay, Momma. You can do it.” So precious! All in all, I know I have some things to work on for my upcoming races (adding in speed work, hills, Yoga), but I am pleased with this experience. I ran slower than expected, but I did not beat myself up about it or dwell on it. I just felt grateful and enjoyed the time celebrating with my family. As they say, progress, not perfection.
Redefined Runner 