It is interesting to me how much running is like life. We go through periods where all seems to be going well and hope is always in our back pocket. Then we have times where things aren’t bad, but they could be better and we figure our luck will turn soon. Past experience tells us we have been stuck before and came out just fine, but during the hard times it can feel like the hope on the horizon is a mirage we will never reach.
Running has ups and downs as well, with months or weeks of PRs and stellar workouts, and mediocre weeks with some good runs but also ones where we may feel stagnant or face nagging injuries. If we’re lucky, we never face serious injuries where our mental or physical state requires a long reprieve, but it tends to happen to most runners at some point.
From July of 2016 to January of 2018, I did not enter a race of any kind. The beginning was not difficult because I was mentally and physically exhausted from how hard I was pushing my body, all without properly nourishing it or allowing myself to rest when I needed it. As the months progressed, however, I began to wonder why I had tied so much of my identity to running. I always knew I was more than “just” a runner, but at the same time, it was hard to imagine my life without running. Taking several weeks off completely for treatment and many long months after that of running without a training plan allowed me to work on the other parts of myself. I became a better mother, a better wife, and a better friend.
I came back strong in 2018, with the same grit, same joy, but a new perspective. I had nothing left to prove. No amount of miles, awards, or finish lines will ever make me feel fulfilled, despite many months of thinking they would. My goal was simply to run my races and have fun doing them, viewing them as experiences to relish and stepping stones along a fun adventure. Each marathon in a new place gets me one step closer to completing all 50 states. I love to explore new places and meet new people, especially runners! They are some of the most fun people I’ve ever met.
I had the same view going into 2019 and my first race was the Red Rock Canyon Marathon in Nevada. It is just outside of Las Vegas. I chose this destination because of the amazing scenery and because I needed to do a race outside of the Midwest. I also wanted to treat my Mom to a special Girls’ Trip for her 65th Birthday. I knew going into it that I would not run my best time. What I did not know, however, was that I would injure myself five weeks out from the race, near the peak of my training.
I strained a muscle in my chest wall from giving my son a piggyback ride while we were snow shoeing (yeah, carrying nearly half of your body weight while trying to trudge through the snow with big metal things on your feet is probably not wise). I had pretty severe pain in my neck, chest, and left shoulder for nearly four weeks afterward. The injury rattled me quite a bit because it wasn’t a typical injury, where not much beyond running is affected. This injury made it difficult to sleep, drive, carry things, or lift my arm over my head or behind me. I knew that rest would be the best thing for my injury, but total rest was not an option given the fact that I had already invested so much in my training and was traveling many miles to do this race. I modified my training as best as I could and sought chiropractic care and physical therapy. Even trying to bike on the indoor trainer was hard, though, because I still had to be able to hold myself up on the handlebars or hold my neck up while in the aero position.
Not only did this injury take a toll on me physically, it also took a toll on me mentally. I struggled to stay positive and calm due to my fatigue and the housework took a hit because my husband works long hours and also had to do A LOT of shoveling during those few weeks. My perfectionist demons started trying to make me feel guilty for all of these things, but I did my best to challenge those thoughts and talk through my feelings with my husband and my friends.
Does anyone else feel like your life follows a pattern like mine? I go back and forth between trying not to be too hard on myself when I cannot do all that I want to do (or even should do) and falling back into pushing, pushing, and pushing. Finally, something happens and I must learn the hard way not to try to always do things ON MY OWN. I am faced with a situation where I have no choice but to ask for help. For being a somewhat intelligent person, I really am kind of dense at times. 🙂
So, fast forward to the race weekend. I was looking forward to a fun trip with my Mom, our first trip like this in over 10 years. It started out shaky, with flight delays and snow and ice causing us to arrive 1.5 hours later than expected (12:30 A.M. on Friday morning). Then, we received an email from the Race Director that day saying the course would be changing due to possible ice on the roads once the snow melted and then froze overnight. The course was originally going to be two 13.1 mile loops, but was changed to a 5.77 mile loop that we did roughly 4.5 times. There was an additional 200 feet of climbing with this course. There was still a net zero elevation gain, however, as we had as much downhill as we did uphill. This absolutely shredded my quads and shins.
But, I digress. The race was 21 degrees at the start, the coldest on record in the 12 years they have coordinated this race. It warmed up to nearly 40 degrees, however, and the scenery was absolutely breathtaking. I highly recommend running the Red Rock Canyon Marathon if you ever get the chance. I did my best in the race, but my legs were definitely rusty due to my injury and I am not accustomed to running at 5,000 feet. I finished with a smile on my face and a first place in the 30-39 age group, though, so I consider it a success! The best part of the trip, though, was taking my Mom to see the band “Chicago” that same night at the Venetian Theater. Those guys can rock!
All in all, it was an unforgettable weekend with my Mom and I am so grateful for the experience. I am even more grateful that Grace is more when I feel “less than.”
Redefined Runner 