Though the quote is believed to have appeared earlier (See this article), many people credit John Lennon with penning the saying, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I am sure we can all come up with a time when we thought our lives or circumstances were on one track and, despite our best efforts, things changed. It could be an unexpected job loss, a major illness, an unexpected pregnancy, an unforeseen job opportunity, or any number of events, but many times we can’t imagine what our lives would be like had that one thing not happened. It can be easy to convince ourselves at times that it would somehow be better or worse, but we really can’t know for sure.
Change is one of the few constants we can count on in our lives. Things never stay the same, even if our jobs and living situations remain relatively constant. We get older, and the people around us get older too. We meet more people and gain new experiences, giving us a broader perspective on things. Things that once seemed important no longer hold much weight and the opinions of others don’t seem to matter as much (at least on our good days). The thing is, even when we know that change is inevitable, and even good, that does not mean it is easy.
Speaking of change, I would consider myself someone who enjoys variety and gets bored easily. I cannot eat the same thing for meals every day (except maybe peanut butter toast, I really love peanut butter) and I generally do not enjoy watching movies or TV shows over and over again (my husband can do this without batting an eye). That being said, these are small day-to-day things. The food we eat, the music we listen to, the exercise routines we choose (or for me, running routes), can be changed much easier than a job or a place of residence. Moving to a new house or apartment is stressful, even more so when it is in a new city or a new state.
For a variety of reasons, not all of which I care to get into for this post, my husband and I have moved six times in our nearly 16 years of marriage and, at the end of this month, we are about to move for a seventh time. It will be our sixth town, though we have only lived in two states, thankfully. While I enjoy exploring new running routes, trails, parks, libraries, coffee shops, and restaurants, I do NOT enjoy finding ways to meet people and forge new relationships. I am not a shy person and I don’t mind talking to people, but I do not become comfortable with people easily. It takes me time to open up and feel like I can be my true self with people. I have gained the confidence and self-assurance to do this more as I age, but when I become close with someone, I am fully invested in that relationship. You can count on me through thick and thin. So it really stinks when I have to be far away from someone I can count on. Like really stinks.
Church, play groups, and the running and group exercise communities have been the main ways I have made friends. While many people would consider the workplace a great place to make friends and socialize, not everyone is blessed with this type of work environment. Since we have moved many times and gone through law school, graduate school, and unemployment, this has not been easy for me. It has been many years since I have stayed at a job for more than a year. It is difficult to form close relationships with people when you don’t stick around for long, particularly when you are a substitute and know you won’t be around for long.
Well, this past fall, I was offered a permanent job after searching for three years for the right opportunity. While I had not envisioned finding a part-time job rather than a full-time job, it seemed like the right thing for our busy family. I was ecstatic. I thought I would finally have stability in my job and that perhaps we would be able to stay in a town for many years. As it turns out, as the year progressed it became clear that it was not the best fit for me personally or professionally. I tried my best to learn new things, improve, change my schedule, and hope things would get better. For reasons I may never fully understand, it did not work. I am now dealing with the reality of facing another school year without a job lined up. I will be moving to a new community without the benefit of having my job as a constant to move with me.
Two major stressors have crept into my life and, to make matters worse, my main method of getting into a positive mindset and coping with stress is not available to me. For the first time in three years, I have not been able to run for nearly four weeks. More than two months ago, my hip was bothering me after my marathon. I kept hoping it would improve with a few days rest and modifications to my running regimen. It didn’t. While it could have been something that required surgery (labral tear), it is still not a minor muscle strain. I have bursitis and tendonosis in my iliopsoas as well as a partial tear in my gluteus medial tendon. It is not clear to me what my treatment and rehab plan looks like since I have yet to see a doctor to discuss test results, but I have already missed one race this year and it seems likely my next race will be axed as well.
These hiccups and twists and turns were not part of my plan for the last six months. I never would have pictured these events for our family. Yet, here we are. But I know that I still have my family and I still have my God. When everything else changes, these things remain. I will cling to His promises and the knowledge that every obstacle I have faced, I have made it to the other side. I will grow from this and I will continue to appreciate any window of time where things seem “boring” or stagnant because, before you know it, they’re not. In the grand scheme of things, these are changes that pale in comparison to losing a loved one or dealing with a terminal illness. We can always find something to be grateful for and there are always ways to find someone who needs help or a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a warm meal to enjoy. Let’s keep looking for those people. Turn our eyes upward and our hearts outward.
Redefined Runner 