How About a Warm Glass of Mom Guilt?

I have a confession to make, and I am sure many other women can relate: I am NOT Super Mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and I make sure I affirm that fact on a daily basis, but I am far from perfect. There have been some ugly moments during my time as a mother. Times when the smallest things cause me to lose my cool, or my children behave poorly in public. Take, for example the time when I was about 7 months pregnant with my son, and out shopping at Walmart with my then 3 year-old daughter. As we were about to leave, she realized she had lost her prized Hello Kitty purse. I told her we could go to the desk and ask them if anyone turned it into Lost and Found, which they had not. So, I described it to them and they wrote down the description and said they would call me if anyone found it. As we walked away, I tried to reassure Rachel that the purse would turn up later. Well, she had other plans. She took off running down the aisle, determined to find it herself. So, as I was chasing her and yelling for her to stop and wait for me (take note: pregnant ladies have no business wearing mules), I did not exactly feel like the Mother of the Year.  I mean, a good Mom would have gladly trudged through EVERY.SINGLE.AISLE. with a smile on her face, right? I am pretty sure, it looked more like this: Pregnant Mom chasing a preschooler

Or how about the times when I have gotten notes or phone calls from my son’s teachers about him calling a classmate the “B” word? One time it was butt-face, the other time….yeah, not so much. We had some words that day. Some days, you just have to hold back your laughter and agree with your children when they say, through tears, “Mom, I try, to make good choices, but I just can’t.” You see, while I can logically understand how silly it is to think I can do all things and be all things for my children, I still feel badly when I fall short.

I love to read stories to my children (funny voices included), but some nights I’m tired and they miss a bedtime story. Sure, it would be great to have family meals every night, but with the long list of evening activities on the agenda each week, it doesn’t always happen. Does it break my heart when my son asks why I can’t come on more of his field trips? Absolutely. And have my children had nights with more than an hour of screen time when my husband had to work late and I was too tired to have a power struggle before bed? Without a doubt.

And yet…

I hug and kiss my children. I pray with them and for them. I read to them often, sing to them, and have dance parties or bake cookies with them sometimes. I make an effort to pack healthy, well-balanced lunches for them and I teach them about being kind and compassionate toward others. I say I am sorry when I make mistakes, like losing my temper or forgetting about a special event they wanted to attend. So, what I am trying to say is, cut yourself some slack and, even more, give grace to other Moms as well. We’re all doing the best we can at one of the hardest jobs in the world. Two women I really enjoy with insightful and often humorous things to say about being a Mom (and really just a good person) are Kristina Kuzmic and Glennon Doyle. Seriously, if you get the chance, read “Love Warrior” and “Carry On, Warrior.” Lastly, what I really want to say is, we’ve been given an amazing gift in our child(ren) and we are just the right people for the job.

“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill